KILLING ME SOFTLY

KILLING ME SOFTLY

Published by the Quarterly Review of the African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church

What causes preachers to kill themselves? What are the driving forces behind suicidal thoughts? What can we do about it? There are a plethora of questions one raises regarding the issue of suicide amongst preachers. Perhaps as a society we've become desensitized to the self-inflicted deaths of laity, but what about clergy? In recent reports, preachers of various backgrounds and ages have committed suicide. The goal of this article is to stimulate thought and invoke meaningful discussion regarding the mental stability of the preacher. Too often we've ignored the symptoms, disregarded the signs, and masked the pain of dysfunction in the pulpit.

Let's raise the questions together. Who do the preachers talk to when they are in a domestic dispute with their spouse? Where do the preachers go for help when they are struggling with narcotics or in the business of illegal pharmaceutical distribution? How should preachers handle their sexual orientation when they believe God's word as truth and respect the position of the African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church on homosexuality, yet the flesh is weak and has succumbed to the falsehoods of the world. Where do the preachers go for wise counsel when they have tasted the forbidden fruit of adultery or fornication? How can preachers maintain sexual purity and holiness when they are constantly bombarded with sexual images throughout the media? How can we hold one another accountable when each preacher has skeletons in the closet that they do not want to let out. Where do the preacher renew their minds when the proclivity of embezzlement is insatiable and the fingers are prone to fondle the very thing that the bible says can be the root of all kinds of evil if one loves it (1 Timothy 6:7 NIV).

Who wants to share if there is not going to be equitability? Some take the disposition that if one reveal's his or her hidden secrets, the other does not. Still, some preachers believe that if they share their vices and personal challenges, their business will be painted on the canvas of life for all to see. The fear of humiliation can be devastating. People know how to talk about each other and pass judgment, but fail in the ministry of reconciliation, restoration and revitalization. Life is difficult and filled with demands that often become insurmountable. In the past year, three known preachers named Rev. Teddy Parker, Rev. Issac Hunter and Rev. Montgomery committed suicide.

According to International Business Religion (Owoseje, T, 2013), the Rev. Teddy Parker pastor of the mega-church Bibb Mount Zion Baptist Church died on Sunday, November 10, 2013 from a self-inflicted gunshot. His wife Larrinecia Parker found him in the driveway of their home. Pastor Parker was 42 when he committed suicide. Google and YouTube reported 86,589 (2014) views of Rev. Parker's sermon, "Facing your storm with confidence." He states, "You know a lot of times, we feel like when we are going through stuff and it's a lot that nobody there with us. I know y'all been saved a long time. I know you super spiritual and you know you real holy but there are times in your life, not y'all but me. There are times in my life when I'm going through some stuff where I can't feel God there. I try to pray but I don't feel like God is hearing me, I try to serve but I don't feel like God is using me."

According to the NY Daily News (2013), the Rev. Issac Hunter committed suicide a year after he had resigned from the mega church Summit Church in Orlando, Florida. Rev. Hunter was theson of an Obama Advisor and Northland Church Pastor Joel Hunter. Rev. Hunter admitted to an extra marital affair with a staff worker which prompted his resignation.

The Christian Post’s, Leonardo Blair asserts, "Official records of the incident acquired by the Christian Post from Matteson Police Department under a Freedom of Information Act request confirmed details of the heartbreaking circumstances under which Pastor Montgomery shockingly shot himself in the presence of his son in the family home as police and paramedics waited outside. According to the police report, "While holding the gun he used to shoot himself to his head, Rev. Montgomery said: "I can't go on. I'm telling you I can't go on. It will be the best. Do not call anyone. I don't want to live. I don't want to live without my wife. I don't want this house."

What caused each of these preachers to take their lives after preaching messages of hope, love and the power of the resurrection? No one has the right to judge the person, but we must look at the act critically and carefully. This is not an issue of ethnicity, denomination or gender. It’s a mental and spiritual issue.

I truly believe that transparency is crucial, but who can we be transparent with? How can preachers show weakness when they are called upon to be the image of strength and power. As author Henri J.M. Nouin would say, the preacher is the wounded healer. However, how does the healer's wounds get healed? How much time should preachers allow for their wounds to be healed? Do the preachers have the luxury of picking and choosing when, where and how they get healed; or is a physician required to identify the problem by asking a series of questions, then prescribing a remedy or medication that will assist in the healing process?

Does the African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church have a mechanism or ministry in place that promotes mental health, spiritual renewal and wellbeing? Is it possible for the church to create a place of refuge that is non-judgmental, private and confidential? Regardless of the cost, is it worth the investment? Is it plausible that a mentally healthy pastor can grow a healthy congregation just as a mentally sick pastor can grow a sick congregation.

Please consider these 12 suggestions that may enhance preachers’ mental and spiritual health:

1. Let's go back to our first love. We proclaim, teach and serve because Jesus found us on our Damascus experience. Man did not call the preacher, God did. We love because He first loved us. We serve because He first served us.

2. Keep 1st things first. God, family, then the church. God will always take care of His spouse; let us take care of our spouse and master the ministry of the family. Let us actively seek ways to invest and make deposits in our relationships instead of withdrawals. Like a bank account, if we have not put in anything in it, there will be nothing there to pull from when we need it.

3. The prophetic ministry is not a profession; it is a vocation. It is a calling that requires consistent communication with God. Daily prayer, meditation, study and devotion should intrinsically become one's lifestyle. Ministry can become a profession when the preacher onlylooks to scripture when they are preparing to preach or teach. When preachers become more concerned about their image and the approval of man rather than God, ministry has become a profession. When preachers are looking for the best package a church has to offer rather than the package that God can offer, then ministry becomes a profession.

4. Watch what you eat. We must endeavor to feed ourselves spiritually. Jesus is the bread of heaven that has been given to us daily. It's more than a statement in the Lord's Prayer... "Give us this day, our daily Bread.." but these words should be a call to action. Are we seriously and consistently feeding ourselves the Word of Jesus or are we simply feasting on the words of our flesh? By speaking negativity, we sow negativity. Hence, the preacher will reap negativity. As God's Word has power to act, so does the words of the vessel that was created in His image. The words of the preacher matters! It is for this reason that the preacher must be careful of what comes out of their mouth. Jesus stated in Matthew 15:18, "But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them." The heart is the place that must be cultivated by the words of Jesus. The more we intentionally speak His words not simply to others, but to ourselves, the more we grow.

5. Preacher's needs friends. The bible says that He sent His disciples out in pairs (Mark 6:7, KJV). Each was commanded to watch and pray for the other. Friends are helpful for they will challenge us from the place of love. Rebuke without relationship equals rebellion. How can anyone receive correction, if there is no relationship in place. If the preachers know that they are loved by their friends, then they are more apt to share their demons and strongholds. Let us employ the teachings of Paul to the Romans 10:17 and Galatians 6:1. We must help each other in a Spirit of meekness and love by sharing the Word of God for faith comes by hearing. Remember that iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17 NIV).

6. We are not super humans. Like the Apostles, we are a rag tag bunch of broken vessels in need of a Savior. We are prone to wander and yield to sin. Each disciple around the table in the Upper Room with Jesus had character flaws and shortcomings. Yet, Jesus had a desire to use them because they said Yes! Arguably, the disciples demonstrated faithfulness by following Jesus wherever He went. God never called us to be successful but faithful.

7. Let's not take ourselves so seriously. When is the last time you had a good laugh? The bible says that laughter is medicine for the soul (Proverbs 17:22).

8. Go away. Take some time off to refuel. Preachers know how to be busy working in the vineyard. However, there is worship in solitude. Jesus understood that leaving the crowd to go on sabbatical was necessary in order to hear God. Experience the nature of God. Let's take time to smell the flowers and appreciate God's beautiful creation. It is a privilege to serve God as a proclaimer of the Gospel. Paul would not have received God's word that His grace is sufficient had he not been by himself.

9. Never forsake the gathering of the saints. Let us not allow the troubles of the world to force us onto an island of despair. But let us come together as much as possible for there is strength in numbers. I am grateful for our Check Up and Annual Conference Meetings. Not only do webring checks up, but it is a spiritual checkup. We should continue in our meetings of spiritual renewal and refreshment.

10. Every preacher needs a pastor. We've got to confess our sins and not allow them to fester in our hearts. Moses had Jethro, Ruth had Naomi, Elisha had Elijah, Timothy had Paul and Jesus had God.

11. Repent for the kingdom of God is at hand! Repenting never gets old. The good news is that we have an Advocate, Jesus Christ the righteous and He is the propitiation for our sins.... Not for ours only but for the sins of the whole world.

12. Keep hope alive! It’s more than a cliché, but it is a call to action. Hope means that there is a bright side somewhere. Hope means that though there is trouble all around us, that it will get better (Hebrews 11:1, NIV).

The mental health of our clergy is vital to the growth of the church. I pray that we seriously consider avenues that the church can use to edify, equip and empower its preachers as it relates to their state of mind. We must not be reactive but proactive in our approach to confront this growing epidemic. If we do not, then I fear that many will succumb to the ills of this world and softly kill themselves.

References

Blair, L. (2013). Church 'Devastated' Over Suicide of Pastor Ed Montgomery, Who shot himself while grieving wife's death, says Apostle Ron Wilson. The Christian Post. Retrieved from from http://www.christianpost.com/news/church-devastated-over-suicide-of-pastor-ed-montgomery-who-shot-himself-while-grieving-wifes-death-says-apostle-ron-wilson-110261/

Golgowski, N. (2013). Troubled Florida ex-pastor found dead a year after resignation frommegachurch. Retrived from http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/troubled-florida-pastor-megachurch-commits-suicide-article-1.1543919

Holy Bible. (1988). The Holy Bible, New International Version. Zondervan Corporation.

Holy Bible. (2011). The KJV Study Bible. Barbour Publishing.

Owoseje, T. (2013). "Rev. Teddy Parker: Georgia Mega-Church Pastor Commits Suicide afterdeclaring God is not hearing me." International Business Religion. Retrieved from http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/reporters/toyin-owoseje

YouTube. (2014). Facing your storm with confidence. Retrieved fromhttp://m.youtube.com/watch?v=M12ZdRXaEpA

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